Not a lot to say here, but if you haven’t yet gone over to nataliedee.com, then you should. Are her creations amazing? Do both of these guys shit in the woods?

There are times in your life that you have to engage in self-reflection. You know, that introspective soul searching we occasionally do in order to understand who we really are, what we want out of life, or just to get a bit more happiness or satisfaction out of life. Thankfully, Facebook can help. If you really want to dig deeply into the nooks and crannies of your personality, then consider taking a Facebook quiz or three. Be warned, some revelations may be unsettling.

First off, I wanted to validate my self-esteem and sense of identity, so I took the “What’s your ghetto nickname? quiz and the “What’s your Native American Indian name?” quizzes. Eerily, I found the results to be strikingly similar: “Stank Bug” and “Little Brown Cloud” respectively. Any close friend or family member can vouch for these results, and this told me I was clearly on the right path to a better understanding of me.

Next, I wanted to learn a bit more about my personality, so I took the “Which Harry Potter Character Are You?”, and “Which Tarot Card Are You?” quizzes. From the titles of these, I assumed they would speak to the aspects of my being that sincerely love and respect all things magical and wondrously mysterious about the world. Interestingly, I learned that I’m a forgetful geek like the Potter character “Neville Longbottom”, although I possess the “childish innocence” and “mystical cleverness bereft of reason” characterized by “The Fool”. Truly, I was getting somewhere. So I dove in and took quiz after quiz, popping through them like some ancient pac-man gobbling 8-bit dots.

I could recount all the wonderful and exciting things I learned, but that would take way more time than I want to spend. I’ll just hit some highlights: my hidden superpower is teleportation, my eyes say that I know how to fold a map correctly, I would most likely be arrested for helping a Harvard professor break into his own house, and I should probably move to Dublin.

Some Facebook quizzes don’t provide you with much actionable information. So my lightsaber is green, so what? Does it really matter that I’m not country, I’m as mature as a 15 year old, my emoticon is >=D, or I should get a patriotic pinup tattoo? Probably not. I learned that some of these quizzes are just there for fun. Seriously, I was surprised too, but there it is. Some people use Facebook as some kind of diversion rather than to become fully self-actualized.

So finally, inspired by my wife, I was able to come up with my own Facebook quiz. I thought it was time to give back, to provide something of equal or greater value than what I was able to receive from going through countless other quizzes. I created something that would let us peer deeply into ourselves, and determine how we really see the world. Of course, everyone should take the new “Which Photoreceptor Are You?” quiz today. You’ll be surprised at how similar we all are.

Wired and a couple other sites have picked up on insurance.com’s list of the 10 most dangerous foods to eat while driving.

1. Coffee. It’s hot. It can spill. That’s bad. That said, we’re guilty of this. So are you. Admit it.
2. Hot soup. It’s hot. It can spill. That’s bad.
3. Tacos. Very messy.
4. Chili. It’s hot. It can spill. That’s bad. And it’s very messy.
5. Hamburgers. Greasy hands and a steering wheel do not mix.
6. Barbecued food. Um, that should go without saying.
7. Fried chicken. You think burgers are greasy?
8. Jelly or cream-filled donuts. Ever bitten into one and not had it squirt all over the place?
9. Soft drinks. Big threat of spillage, says Insurance.com, and unacceptable risk of “fizz up your nose.” Huh?
10. Chocolate. It melts on your fingers, which makes a mess on the steering wheel.

You can tell this comes from an insurance list. How? Because it’s BORING. It’s also wrong. Who the hell eats coffee or soft drinks? Nobody. I suppose eating coffee while driving is dangerous since the coffee has to solidify, and this either requires dangerously low temperatures or such a long period of time that you’ll fall asleep at the wheel. Ironically, that’s a danger that you could avoid if you just drank the coffee in the first place.

We’ve come up with our own list of dangerous foods. I think you can agree, these are probably much more dangerous to eat while driving than those listed above.

10. Spam. You really need 2 hands to open the can, unless you want to slice a finger and bleed to death. Either way, you die.
9. Raw Oysters. Again – you ever try shucking with one hand? Can’t be done.
8. Fresh Main Lobster. These are dangerous enough when seated at the table. Clarified butter makes these a lethal driving delicacy.
7. Chitterlings. Anything made from intestine is dangerous to begin with. Add the amount of tabasco reuired to force down chitlins, and you’re begging to wipe out.
6. Apple Jacks Cereal. By itself, these aren’t too dangerous. The tune lock you’ll suffer from the Apple Jacks jingle will have you looking for a tree to plow into.
5. Outback Steakhouse Aussie Cheese Fries. Just don’t eat these while driving. You will die of a coronary, and probably crash into a busload of nuns.
4. A jar of mayonnaise. Extra danger points if you lick the spoon.
3. Fresh Sea Urchin. You’ll probably stab yourself to death trying to get to the tasty bits.
2. Molten Lava Cakes. Don’t let Paula Dean fool you. The original recipe calls for real molten lava. Can it get any more dangerous?
1. Yes it can: Pork Brains in Milk Gravy. The real danger here is that you’ll probably kill yourself to get the taste out of your mouth.

I’ll talk a little about Twitter, since that’s the newest big social kid on the block. Millions of people are on Twitter, tweeting to their heart’s content, and millions of people that don’t tweet wonder what all the fuss is about. If you recall, the same sort of thing happened with Facebook and MySpace before Twitter. And again with Blogging before that. And with email lists, IRC, and web forums before that. All the way back to primitive peoples sharing stories around a crackling fire, there have been those who ask, “What’s the big deal with fire anyway?”

All the way back to primitive peoples sharing stories around a crackling fire, there have been those who ask, “What’s the big deal with fire anyway?”

I’ll tell you what the deal is.

It’s not the technology, it’s us.

All through history, people have had this need to connect, to create community, to share their ideas, thoughts, fears, and hopes with others. We want – we need – those connections, just like we need food and water, and even air to breathe. People are nothing if not social animals, and if you’re surprised that now, in the early 21st century people have discovered new and empowering forms of social media, then you just haven’t been paying attention. We have always found new forms of social media, ever since the dawn or symbolic thought and our ability to share stories and ideas through language. I also suspect that we will always create new ways to do so.

And there will always be those who wonder what all the fuss is about.

So, I believe that social media is much like any other form of community – and you tend to get out of it what you put in. Maybe that’s the only rule, and that’s why people talk about twitter and Facebook karma. If you’re a prick to your neighbors, do they invite you to their big 4th of July cookout? If you play nice in your virtual communities, then maybe you get nice back.

In any event, you have to join in to participate – and that’s just the beginning of the fun.

One of my nieces was wondering if her house would ever be clean again, this after the birth of her first child. Apparently, moms can put that bundle of joy to work much earlier than they ever thought, and maybe get a handle on some of the mess they’re finding everywhere.

Baby Mops. How funny is that?

This image from a surveillance video at an adult video store on Airport Boulevard shows a burglar holding an inflatable sex doll after he broke into the business.

Let me count the ways this wingnut fails:

• First – he’s on video, so he will likely be caught, and we’ll get to put a name to that face.
• Second – While going to a store to buy your porn might be a little embarrassing to some folks in south Alabama, it’s probably not nearly as embarrassing as stealing your porn and having your picture plastered on the front page of the local paper. It would probably have been less embarrassing if Jesus, The Pope, and this guy’s mom all walked in the store and caught him in the act.
• Third – the burglar took no money, just, “an inflatable doll, a bottle of lubricant and a pocket-sized sexual stimulation device called “Devin’s Private Pleasures.”" WTF?
• Fourth – apparently inflatable dolls are not sold pre-inflated. The burglar is alleged to have inflated this one himself. Once again … WTF?
• Fifth – we think that stealing an inflatable doll should count as kidnapping, especially if you’re creepy enough to inflate it while you’re stealing it.

Stay tuned as this story blows up develops.

The recent murders of an American doctor in his church, and of an American security guard at the Holocaust Museum in Washington, DC stand out as two examples, although depending on who you listen to, they’re seen as examples of different things.

One camp says that these are tragic examples of crazed and depraved lone gunmen. In this line of argument, the murders are acts of violence that could not have been prevented since there’s no way to fathom the depths of the mind of someone bent on murder. In this view, the killings were isolated instances, each occurring because of the design of a single perpetrator, in the absence of any broader social or political context save for that which each of these murderers made up to justify their horrific acts.

The other camp claims that these are tragic examples of domestic terrorism. In this line of argument, the murders are acts of politically-motivated violence that could possibly have been prevented since the social forces that allow some fringe groups to justify murder are reasonably well understood. In this view, the killings are connected to a broader social context in which the election of the nations first African American president, and a broader acceptance of more socially liberal policies and norms is threatening to some of our American brothers and sisters – and with adequate provocation – some of them will act out in order to make a political statement.

I wonder if just one of these lines of argument is correct, or even if there are alternative ways to view these violent acts. More than that, I wonder if our description of them would be different if these were not examples of American on American violence, or if we didn’t have a double standard when it comes to blaming the victim. If James von Brunn, the white supremacist who is accused of murdering Stephen Tyrone Johns at the Holocaust Museum had been a Saudi, Iranian, or Palestinian, headlines across the country would have been splashed with the word “Terrorism” in bold type and accompanying exclamation points. It doesn’t matter that Scott Roeder believed that his murder of Dr. George Tiller was justified because doctor Tiller performed abortions – because Roeder’s goal wasn’t just to kill Tiller – it was to send a message to all Americans that people like him will try to kill you if you have the misfortune to require or provide legal abortions – so you better stop.

Daniel D. Novotny said, “An act is terrorist if and only if (1) it is committed by an individual or group of individuals privately, i.e. without the legitimate authority of a recognized state; (2) it is directed indiscriminately against non-combatants; (3) the goal of it is to achieve something politically relevant; (4) this goal is pursued by means of fear-provoking violence.”

I think we have to look very closely at ourselves in the mirror – because I suspect some of us will see terrorists staring back.

Welcome 2009. I thought I’d comment on something that doesn’t seem to be getting a great deal of play in the media just now.

During the landmark 2008 US Presidential Campaign, Republicans across the US took a strong, wrong-headed stand on energy. What was their proposed solution to soaring gas prices? Simple – open previously off-limits areas around the US coastline to oil exploration and drilling. They even had a three syllable catch phrase that started at the GOP convention and was repeated at rallies across the country as the general campaign wore on. “Drill baby, drill”, they chanted, with the same wild-eyed conviction that a mob chasing the Frankenstein monster might have as it cried, “Kill, kill, kill.”

But then the bottom fell out of the US economy as the sub-prime mortgage bubble burst and investment firms on Wall Street lost billions in the blink of an eye. What may end up being the worst financial crisis in US history began. The US Treasury was granted enormous power as a $700 Billion (that’s $700,000,000,000.00 if you’re interested) bailout of various corners of the financial world was passed in congress. But within this turbulent storm of a fiscal meltdown, there was, to me at least, one interesting thing.

The price of oil began to fall.

And fall.

And fall.

In July and August 2008, one of the biggest features of the US consumer economy was an ever-increasing domestic demand for oil, combined with the fact that we import over 40% of that oil from foreign sources. By October and November, the economic pain Americans felt translated into cost cutting, and we began starting to drive and fly less often. By mid December, unleaded gas fell to $1.50 per gallon in some areas of the country. Cheap gas was here at last.

Interestingly, it wasn’t an increase in domestic supply that caused the worldwide oil price drop. Similarly, the difference wasn’t the “signal” that Republicans had wanted to send to the countries that “don’t like us very much” of our intent to drill off the outer continental shelf, and thereby increase domestic supplies.

Nope, in that crazy dance of energy supply and demand, the current economic crisis has shown us one thing most clearly: Demand drives energy prices at least as much as supply. Americans on a large scale were forced to conserve due to tough economic times, and oil prices plummeted to compensate for the decreased demand. Now that gas is cheap, Americans are starting to buy more. In response, the prices have begun to creep up again.

Drill Baby, Drill? That may be something to consider once the supply of oil begins to dwindle, but in late 2008, we saw what can happen when we conserve instead. The main problem is, however, that mobs don’t get wild-eyed over responsibility and clunky slogans like, “Conserve Baby, Conserve.”