The Smug Baldy Speaks

Just in case you think Alabama is all about good ol’ boy politics, we find a bit of refreshing news that former Alabama governor Don Siegelman, and his partner in crime Richard Scrushy, were taken to prison in shackles yesterday. Siegleman was convicted of bribery, conspiracy and mail fraud, and was sentenced to 7 years in prison, while Scrushy got 6 years. The judge ordered both to be taken to jail immediately while they awaited their appeal, saying to Siegelman:

“You and I both took an oath to uphold the law. You have violated that oath.”

At that point, Don Siegelman shed a tear or two, and was led away.

In other news, Alabama Senator Jeff Sessions was seen gloating today as was able to convince enough members of the senate to kill the bi-partisan Immigration Reform Bill. OK, gloating may be the wrong word. He cheered when the bill was killed, but later, he allegedly called for

“a real, fair and compassionate solution to people who’ve been here for many years illegally but have got deep roots here. …”

It’s still unclear whether Sessions, a 60 year-old white man, still looks good in his old cheerleading outfit, but most experts agree that it’s unlikely.

The Immigration Bill was endorsed by President Bush, but Sessions felt that the bill as written, would fail to secure the nation’s, and especially Alabama’s borders, against illegal immigrants. Frustrated, but not bitterly so, about not being allowed to attach numerous amendments to bill, Sessions instead made a sour face that swayed enough senate supporters to withhold their vote on the bill. By a large margin, Alabama Republicans applauded Sessions’ position, but not the sour face he makes when frustrated.

Finally, just in case you thought you weren’t praying hard enough, current Alabama Govenor Bob Riley asked Alabamians to pray for more rain, saying:

“Throughout our history, Alabamians have turned in prayer to God to humbly ask for his blessings and to hold us steady during times of difficulty,” Riley said. “This drought is without question a time of great difficulty.”

Clearly confused about his role in the State government, Rev. Riley apparently believes that only rain is an act of God, while the lack of rain is not. Our position has always been that the current drought in Alabama is clearly the act of an angry, wrathful God working in His mysterious and unknowable ways, and that it’s extremely presumptuous of us mere mortals to ask Him to change His mind and send us some rain showers. Instead, we should be thankful for the drought we have, and pray that He doesn’t see fit to send frogs or boils or something.

God was, as usual, unavailable for comment.