I don’t smoke, but still I bum cigarettes - mainly so I can tear them up. You should see the looks that gets. I suppose one could argue that there’s a difference between crumbling a cigarette for enjoyment and incinerating one instead. I don’t buy that argument, though. That, or I don’t care. I get a great deal of pleasure from the horrified smoker’s expression as I grind the cigarette they just gave me into an airy cloud of tobacco flakes.

It’s not as if you actually borrow cigarettes anyway. Someone gives you one, you light it on fire, and you die a little quicker. You don’t give it back, “Oh hey Chuck, thanks for that smoke you lent me, here’s the butt.” I find smokers are fairly united against my way of enjoying a fine cigarette - although they’re usually unaware of their kinship with other smokers until they give me a cig. Apart from cigarettes, there are few other things in this world that are enjoyed so much, as long as they are destroyed in just the right fashion. I guess cigars would be another example. And maybe third world countries, or American liberalism.

On another note, playing raquetball against a smoker has its own rewards. It certainly has the potential to boost ones self esteem, unless of course, you”re an obese slob like I am. When the smokers start owning you on the court it’s time to either get to the gym more regularly, or accept your potatohood and take up cribbage with the old ladies in the church basement.

Too bad those biddies smoke so much though.

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